New Leaves

Earlier this week I volunteered for my youngest son’s senior breakfast. He is graduating this week from high school and I wanted to voluteern since I’m not currently working. I was feeling proud of myself for offering to help and arrived early to help set up. When I arrived there were several parents who had gotten there before me and most of the preparations were done. I introduced myself, and asked what was left to do. There wasn’t much left, but I was able to fold some napkins.

The other parents were chatting and it was obvious that they all knew each other and knew each other well. They spoke about the graduating seniors and where they would be going to college, and asked about my son. When I mentioned his name and shared where he would be attending college, one mom said to me, “Oh yeah. I remember that college was his first choice to get into”. I asked if she knew my son and she said yes. She told me she has volunteered several times over the last four years of high school and had gotten to know all of the students.

At that moment I heard a loud “whoosh” sound. Or at least I thought I did. The whoosh came from realizing I had not been a part of my son’s high school experience. Four years have gone by and I wondered where was I? Sure, I went to the exhibitions and I do remember going to the freshman orientation, but not much more than that. I didn’t know the names of most of the students in his graduating class and certainly didn’t know what their plans were after high school.

During the breakfast the school director came up to me and asked who I was. I told him my son’s name and shared I was his mom. He was friendly and shared lovely comments about my boy. It was a humbling moment.

The last ten years have gone by the fastest in my life. I’ve had three jobs, lived in three locations, loss a parent and sister, my oldest son got married, and numerous other important life challenges and events. In reflection I can say I was busy and that’s why I haven’t been as involved with my youngest son’s high school years. But, was that really an excuse?

I could also say that my son didn’t really want me involved with his high school (which is true) or that my jobs have been so demanding that there wasn’t energy left for other things. However, as I cleared the tables and chatted with some other parents, I realized they too were working parents and had more than one child like I do, and yet they were able to help out more.

As I left the school, I felt some guilt. I wished I had contributed more, especially since I was a school director and know how wonderful it is to have families involved. It was an eye-opening experience for me. I realized I made some things a priority in my life and other things not. I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong, but I do think I could have done better. The side effect of taking time off from my work was a good thing. I’m seeing things differently or at least; I will from now on.