Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.” – Anonymous
“Not all pain manifests as tears, and not every wound leaves visible scars. Some hurts remain concealed, and some battles are fought silently. – Anonymous
The other day a fellow volunteer and I had a conversation after a parent had visited the front reception area, where we both volunteer.
“That parent is really nice. Every week, I volunteer and they leave early to visit their child in the hospital, but they always make sure to say hello to us at the front desk first,” I said.
“Do you know their story?” they asked.
“Story?” I replied.
“Yes, story. The family has been living here in the housing units for over three years while their son gets treatment at the Children’s Hospital,” they explained.
“Three years?” I said.
“Yes, three years. The family is active duty military, and the mother is stationed in Guam. She lives in Guam, but the child and father moved to San Diego so the son could get specialized medical care. The treatment has taken longer than expected, so they have had to stay longer,” they noted.
After my fellow volunteer shared the family story to me I reflected how the father showed no signs of the challenges that, his child, or his family were enduring. The situation got me thinking about how people have struggles and challenges that are “invisible” to the general public.
I realized many people, including my family, friends, and acquaintances also face “invisible” challenges. They seem fine on the outside, but inside, they are struggling with pain, sadness, frustration, fear, and disappointment. Their issues may only be seen by those close to them. I am aware of many who have difficult situations occurring in their lives right now.
- A niece dealing with an anxiety disorder and unable to work outside her home.
- A neighbor living on a fixed limited income and unable to pay bills due the the higher costs of living.
- The son who is underemployed and not utilizing their college degree.
- A friend who is undergoing health challenges and does not have adequate health care coverage.
- An uncle who struggles with dementia, but not unwilling to get support or move outside their local city area.
- A wife who loss their husband and is struggling with loneliness and depression.
- A family member whose health issues are complex, and the future for the recovery is unclear.
The list of invisible challenges people face is long. Almost everyone I know, including myself, has a hidden issue they are dealing with. When you are aware that someone is facing a challenge, you can better support them. Simple words can show concern, but they should be offered in a gentle way.
| Instead of saying… | Try offering… | Why it helps |
|---|---|---|
| “Let me know if you need anything.” | “I’m ordering food, can I drop off dinner tonight or tomorrow?” | Removes the decision fatigue of meal planning. |
| “We should hang out soon to distract you.” | “I’m running errands. Do you want to ride along? No pressure to talk.” | Provides low-stakes companionship without social pressure. |
| “Call me if you want to talk.” | “Just checking in. No need to text back, just wanted you to know I’m thinking of you.” | Reminds them they are loved without demanding emotional energy. |
As we look at others, it’s important to understand that the persona they show may not reflect their true struggles. Recognizing this can change how we interact with people and adjust our expectations. If we remember that everyone faces challenges and appreciate what they may be going through, we can help them feel more understood. When someone acknowledges hardships without judgment, it transforms isolation into a shared experience that makes life more manageable.
“To anyone fighting an invisible battle. I see you.“ — Lauren Asher
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